A Close Call While Shopping

  pushing my cart through the supermarket
  today
  the thought passed through my mind
  that I could start
  knocking cans from the shelves and
  also rolls of towels, toilet paper,
  silver foil,
  I could throw oranges, bananas, tomatoes
  through the air, I could take cans of
  beer from the refrigerated section and
  start gulping them, I could pull up
  women's skirts, grab their asses,
  I could ram my shopping cart through
  the plate-glass window...

  then another thought occurred to me:
  people generally consider something
  before they do it.

  I pushed my cart along...

  a woman in a checkered skirt was
  bending over the pet food section.
  I seriously considered grabbing her
  ass
  but I didn't, I rolled on
  by.

  I had the items I needed and I rolled
  my cart up to the checkout stand.
  a lady in a red smock with a nameplate
  on
  awaited me.
  the nameplate indicated her as
  "Robin."

  Robin looked at me: "how you doing?"
  she asked.

  "fine," I told her.

  and then she began tabulating my
  purchases
  not in the least knowing that
  the fellow standing there before her
  had just two minutes ago been
  one grab from the
  madhouse.

Appears in The Wormwood Review #100 "Good Stuff," 1985

©Linda Lee Bukowski - used with permission